They’ll be talked about for decades. Some will wonder “why didn’t I think of that?” Others will say “what in the Hell were they thinking?”

The ads for this year’s Super Bowl made their appearance and while some were good, others should have never seen the light of day. These are the ads that people will talk about and analyzed, picked apart by experts and amateurs alike. They’ll talk about the game but they’ll also talk about the ads.

30 seconds is not a lot of time to get your message across and it costs a lot of money. To put things into perspective, a 30-second ad in the very first Super Bowl would cost you $50 thousand dollars. That same 30 seconds this year? Get ready for sticker shock, folks. That same 30 seconds cost you a whopping $5.2 million. When you break it down, in 1967, it cost you $1,666.67 per second as opposed to $173,333.33 in 2019 money. Add to that the fact that you have about 3-5 seconds to hook the viewer and have that person say “I’m gonna go out and buy that product” or “what in the Hell were they thinking?”

Some of the ads were funny, some were serious and they all had messages that made you laugh, cry and think. We took each ad that appeared during the game and gave them an S for Satisfactory or U for Unsatisfactory grade. There was no curve, there was no rubric. We listed each ad as to when they appeared in the contest as far as time on the game clock was concerned and the product in question. Ads for CBS and the NFL were not taken into consideration and ads that were repeated in the contest were given one grade only. Ads that took place between the end of the first and third quarter and halftime were not given grades as well.

Got all that?

Good.

Here are the ads, quarter by quarter

1st Quarter

Time   Product
11:15  Bon and Viv – S
M&M’Chocolate Bar – S
Hulu Handmaid Tale – S
Bumble Venus – S

7:39   Hyundai Shopper Assurance – U (Seriously?)
Turkish Airlines – S

6:17   Olay – U
Doritos Chance The Rapper and Backstreet Boys – U
Weather Tech Pet Comfort – S

5:35   Captain Marvel – S
Bud Light Corn Syrup – S

3:25   Fast and Furious presents Hobbs and Shaw – S
Expensify – U

2nd Quarter

Time   Product
13:58  Bud Light Game of Thrones- S
Avocados – U

10:29  Pringles – S
Google – S
Showtime – S

7:50   Mercedes Benz – S
Persil – S
T Mobile – S

6:14   Toyota Toni Harris – S
Planters – S

3:57   Mint Mobile – S
Norwegian Cruises – S

2:00   Turbo Tax – U
Stella Artois – S
Sprint Bo Jackson – U

3rd Quarter

Time   Product
14:06  Kia We Are Not Famous – S
Bubbly Michael Buble – S

10:06  T Mobile Lyft Driver – U
Wix – S
Netflix Our Planet – S
Michelob Ultra Robot – U

8:36   Verizon First Responders – S
Devour – U (REALLY?)

6:33   Google Veteran Job Search – S
Colgate – U

2:11   Amazon Hanna – S
Skechers – S
Bud Light Barber – S

4th Quarter

Time   Product
12:23  Microsoft Grover – S
Weather Tech – S
Bud Light Trojan Horse – S
Verizon First Responders (Clay Matthews) – S

9:49   Burger King Andy – U
Budweiser Clyesdales Wind – S

7:00   Amazon Alexa – U
Scary Stories – U

4:17   Michelob Ultra Jungle – S
Girls Inc. – S

2:00   T Mobile Dean Martin – S
The Washington Post – S